Sleeping Beauty: A TwentyFirst Century Fairy Tale
by mabelreid
Summary: Who said sleeping beauty has to be a princess? What if Reid were a prince, and cursed at birth by an evil wizard? Will a kiss be all it takes to wake him? Parody
1. An old tale retold

_A/n hey all… Here's what happens when I decide to take a break from writing everyday. The muse gets bored and this is what she comes up with. So lesson learned, no more breaks for me! This is the first of two chapters and is my take of "The Sleeping Beauty." It's a parody of sorts, so enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: See my profile_

_**An old tale retold **_

Once upon a time… In a land called Nevada, and a city called Las Vegas, a young king and queen lived. They were very happy together, and had everything they needed. At least, they thought they had everything they needed. If you asked their friends, there was something missing…

Then, one day in the early autumn, when the leaves of the trees began to turn red and gold, a prince was born to them. They named him Spencer and all the land rejoiced in his birth. That is everyone except the most evil warlock in the land.

First of all… they hadn't invited Lord Quagmire to their feast of celebration when the young Queen had given birth. All of the other sorcerers, and wizards, in the kingdom were invited. It was the custom to bestow gifts on the first born of the ruler.

Then, the royal messenger had come to his mansion, and told him that no gifts would be accepted from Lord Quagmire or his employees.

After raging up and down in his dungeon, and breaking several old crystal balls, Lord Quagmire decided to crash the party.

"But sire… do you think it wise to -"

Lord Quagmire turned his terrible glare on the smaller hunchbacked man. "You dare question me Ivan…"

"No mi lord, I just think you should sit down and have a nice café latte. There's a great movie on HBO about these two women that go on a road trip together. I think they even commit suicide together at the end. Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Don't patronize me…" Lord Quagmire growled, looming over Ivan in a most menacing way. "I don't have time for HBO!" He shouted.

"Your Lordship… I was only trying to -"

"Shut up and go warm up the limo…"

Ivan bowed out of his Lord's dungeon and went to fetch the limousine, grumbling as he climbed the stairs to the main floor of the mansion.

"King William won't be happy about this." He muttered to himself.

--

The party was well under way when Lord Quagmire arrived. He'd disguised himself as an old cousin of the king. King William hadn't seen Lord Percival in fifteen years and it was easy to fool him.

The food was delicious and the dancing lame. It seemed that Queen Diana really liked disco and no other music was allowed at the party. Everyone was in the middle of the "Hustle," when King William's secretary called everyone to order.

The subjects bowed when King William stood at the microphone. He wore a simple black tuxedo and no crown, for he told the Queen that crowns were too heavy to wear and passé. Queen Diana had patted him on the cheek, and adjusted her diamond tiara while the baby nurse dressed little Spencer in his party clothes.

"My loyal subjects, it's time for Prince Spencer to receive gifts from the most powerful wizards and magicians in the land."

The people clapped and cheered while Mary the baby nurse brought Prince Spencer into the large ballroom. He was sleeping, and looking very cute in the tiny, handmade tuxedo his father had insisted he wear.

The baby nurse placed him in the cradle that stood at the north end of the room, in front of a large bay window. The stars were visible tonight and the weather calm. The baby wriggled a bit in the gold satin sheets, but then he calmed again.

The first wizard to approach the King, and then Prince Spencer, was Gregory Goodlook. The tall, dark haired man smiled down at the baby and addressed his parents. "I give the Prince Spencer the gift of beauty. All who look upon him will do so with awe and reverence."

The second to approach was the greatest Magician in all the land, 'The Great Mateo…' The man was red haired and green eyed. He was short, and plump, with a round, kind face. "Prince Spencer shall be given the ability to charm others with his feats of magic and illusion." He declared.

The third man to bring a gift to the Prince was Barry Brilliant. He was the smartest man in all the land. He was medium height with blond hair and blue eyes. He was very thin with a narrow face and heavy eyebrows. "To Prince Spencer I give the gift of great intelligence. He will surpass even me in knowledge, and true wisdom."

Lord Quagmire watched nine more wizards give the young Prince various gifts. When they had finished he stepped forward, letting his disguise fall.

"Your Majesties… You insult me by not inviting me to the party."

"Seize him…" The king ordered.

The warlock pulled his magic wand from the inside of the suit he wore and pointed it at the small Prince. The baby slept on, undisturbed by the chaos and the shouting going on around him.

"I can't miss at this range… Your Highness." He sneered at the King and Queen.

"What do you want?" The King demanded, motioning his guards back.

"I can't undo the magic and gifts my fellow wizards have accomplished." Lord Quagmire bowed mockingly at the others. "But… I can do my own magic… Yes… the young Prince will be handsome, but his intelligence will make him the target of bullies and women will be intimidated by him. He will be nervous and shy… In his tenth year, you… the great King William will leave him because Queen Diana will become mentally ill. In his eighteenth year he will be forced to put the Queen in an institution for the rest of her life. One day he will join the BAU at Quantico and many terrible things will happen to him there. On his twenty sixth birthday, he will drink a potion at his birthday party and fall into a deep sleep forever." The man cackled and the queen fainted. "Oh yeah… he'll be clumsy and will spout off statistics and facts to everyone that will listen." He added as an after thought.

Lord Quagmire threw down a vial and black smoke billowed into the room. All the guests began to dance uncontrollably to country western swing music, which began to blast out of the entertainment system. He disappeared into the crowd, never to be heard from again. King William had all of his property seized and poor Ivan was thrown into the deepest dungeon in the land.

--

Twenty six years later, the young prince Spencer worked for the FBI in the BAU at Quantico. He was all that the wizards of Las Vegas had said he would be. Lord Quagmire's entire curse had also come to pass. He was now known as Spencer Reid.

His friends had decided to give him a birthday party one cold October day. The sun was out, but its warmth was elusive. The inside of the building, where the prince and his friends worked, was much warmer then the windswept woods that surrounded the military base.

A man, dressed in Marine fatigues, stepped out of the shadows to meet a shorter dark haired man. "Is the potion in place, Melvin?" He as the man with the twisted face, who's left eye had a white cataract cast to it.

"Yes sire… I put it there myself." He bowed low to the large man in front of him.

"Good… Any minute now the Prince will drink it and my revenge will be complete." He laughed loudly and startled several birds over his head, which flew away squawking indignantly at being disturbed.

Lord Quagmire took one step to the left and slipped on several leaves that had fallen to the ground. The storm the night before had made them very slippery. He fell with a yelp that drew the attention of a lone Marine running the obstacle course through the woods. He turned toward the noise in time to see a very large man fall, and hit his head hard on a large rock.

"Hey…" He shouted at the smaller man.

Melvin flinched and used some of his master's special transportation powder to escape. He disappeared in front of the Marine, who stood staring stupidly at the spot for five minutes before remembering that another Marine was in trouble.

He called for help and the evil Lord Quagmire was taken to the base infirmary and then the hospital. Unfortunately for him, the blow had given him amnesia and he turned into a nice guy after that, who wandered DC handing out pamphlets for the Salvation Army. He never saw his servant again as the travel spell had sent the other man to Borneo, where he ran a fowl of the natives and was forced to marry the chief's daughter.

--

Meanwhile…

The birthday party was in full swing. JJ had kept up tradition by giving Reid another chocolate birthday cake. They sincerely hoped to be able to finish the party this year. The young prince didn't know that he was in danger of a revenge driven warlock. He'd always assumed his mothers warnings of this birthday were the ravings of her paranoid mind.

"Hey Reid… it's time for cake." Morgan said

"No trick candles this year," Reid asked.

"Can't fool you three times," The older agent said.

Reid ignored his friend because JJ was passing him cake and a cup of fruit punch. "Sorry there's no rum in it," She winked.

"We can't drink on the job anyway. Did you know that there are one hundred and twenty two people fired every year for drinking in this state alone?"

"I'm not surprised, this is a political town." JJ responded dryly.

"Hey Reid… Heads up for your toast man," Morgan yelled. Most of the other agents in the room were standing around staring at Reid who was going red in the face.

"Alright… Get it over with Morgan." Hotch ordered

"Well there isn't much to say. We all know about all your amazing talents. You got a great job." The team groaned and the others laughed. "Okay… so it ain't that great, but it pays the bills, sort of."

"Get on with it Morgan." Rossi said. The others agreed.

"So here's to hoping some hot babe takes pity on you this year and you get some lovin'" Morgan shouted above the laughter.

Emily went upside his head with her hand and Hotch said, "Morgan…"

"Okay… Seriously man… Happy Birthday!" Morgan raised his glass.

They all drank, including Reid who was trying to hide behind his cup. And that's when a voice shouted from the crowd. "No son… Don't drink that!" The man, who was an older version of Reid, tried to push through the agents, but Reid had already downed the drink.

"Grab him," Hotch shouted.

It was too late. Garcia screamed when her friend swayed and fell to the floor. She tried to revive him but he didn't move.

"What did you do to him," Hotch yelled at the former King William. "What did you do?"

**TBC**


	2. His one true love!

_A/n hey all here's the next chapter. I must thank J K Rowling and the original "Sleeping Beauty," for their influence and inspiration for this story._

_Disclaimer: See my profile, please._

**_His one true love!_**

The wait at Georgetown University Hospital seemed to go on forever. Morgan and Rossi were talking to William Reid at Quantico. Hotch paced the waiting room wondering how the older Reid had got into the military base in the first place. He made another turn around the room, glancing over at the women who were huddled together. JJ held onto Garcia's hand and the computer tech was sniffing. Emily sat on the other side of her and had one hand on their friends back.

He was about to go tell them that Reid was going to be okay, when Dr. Michael Morpheus entered the waiting room and asked for Agent Aaron Hotchner.

"I'm Agent Hotchner."

"Dr. Reid is sleeping."

"Then he'll be alright," JJ asked from behind them. She, Emily, and Garcia were standing there looking very hopeful.

"We don't know…"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Garcia demanded. Her face had gone very red.

"As far as we can tell, the only thing wrong with Agent Reid is that we can't waken him." The doctor explained.

"How can you not wake him?" Hotch asked.

"We've run every test we have, except for an MRI which I will do tomorrow. I'm not willing to do anything drastic to wake him until I know exactly what made him sleep in the first place."

"But you have to wake him up," Garcia demanded.

Hotch put both hands on her shoulders. "I know he's your friend. He's dear to all of us. We have to let the doctors do their tests."

"Who are you trying to convince, us or you," JJ wanted to know.

"We need to wait for all the facts." Hotch said. He turned back to the doctor who was a head shorter then Hotch and had black hair and deep blue eyes."

"Whatever you have to do, please do it," Hotch said.

"Of course… We know that he didn't suffer a blow to the head, and the tests we've done don't show any toxins, but we're still waiting on the rest of the results."

"Thank you doctor," Hotch shook the man's hand, and Dr. Morpheus left them to their waiting.

"Hotch… how can you just let him go like that?" Garcia had rounded on him, and didn't seem to notice that he'd turned his infamous scowl on her.

"I can't speed things up Garcia, no matter how much I'd like to." He shot back.

"Well… I'm not standing here. I'm going to go find out something, or do something."

They could hear her imitation leopard skin heels stomping away down the corridor. "Well… there goes a woman on a mission." Emily commented and they all laughed. It was hard to keep a straight face thinking of Garcia out for blood.

Hotch said in a quiet tone. "I'll deny it if anyone asks, but that woman scares me."

JJ held up her hands as if in surrender. "You don't have to tell me. Why do you think Morgan calls her goddess?"

They all laughed again, and the thick tension left the room that was empty but for them. They quickly sobered though, Reid was lost to them and none of them wanted to leave before he awoke, no matter how long it took.

--

"Unless you want to go to Federal Prison, you better tell us what you know about this." Morgan growled at William Reid.

"I've told you everything I know."

"You've told us enough to make us think you need to be in an institution along side your wife." Rossi said.

William reared up out of his chair, "Don't you talk about Diana that way," He shouted.

"Why… You're the one that left her and Spencer alone." Morgan reminded him while cracking his knuckles.

William eyed the big man and swallowed hard, but he stuck to his story. "I don't know what else to tell you. You have to find Quimby Quagmire. He's the only one that can reverse the spell."

"I've had enough Rossi… Let's lock this guy up."

"No…. Enough…" A voice said.

Rossi and Morgan looked up in utter surprise at a very tall, blond haired man with the greenest eyes Rossi had ever seen. He wore a dark purple double breasted suit with gold stars all over it and a conical hat.

"What the hell…" Morgan said, beginning to rise in his chair.

The man held out a stick or something that Morgan thought might be a magic wand. But that couldn't be, could it?" The man said, "Sit down…" Morgan dropped back to his seat and seemed to be glued there.

"I am Samuel Supremas. I am head of the Wizard's Council. I am here because magic has been misused in front of non-magical beings."

"Who…" Rossi began.

"I know of the spell on Young Reid. The entire counsel has been made aware of this trespass of our laws. The perpetrator has been dealt with," The wizard said.

He waved his wand and the water bottle in the corner turned into a chair. He sat down and took off his conical hat. He seemed utterly unfazed by the way three men were staring at him in shocked silence.

Rossi broke the silence by saying very quietly and calmly. "I don't know how you got in here, but I'm going to call for the guard."

"Why I just transported in, all wizards can do it." He shook his head when Rossi pressed the button on the table. "Don't bother, they can't see or hear you till I wish it.

"Now just a minute…" Morgan shouted, still trying to move and looking like he'd been tied up with invisible ropes.

"No… you listen. The council can't interfere or reverse the spell." The magician said as though they should all know how things worked for a magician.

"What do you propose that we do, find a princess to kiss him?" Rossi said sarcastically.

"Yes… It might not work though." the wizard said thoughtfully.

"You're crazy…" Morgan said through gritted teeth. He was sweating and his hands were fisted at his side.

"Hey… Don't get mad at me. I didn't make the rules. It will work or it won't, it depends on how much you believe." Sam said. "Now… I have to get back to the council. There is nothing more to do here except to say that this was done with out the approval of the council so you'll have to fix it on your own. Believe in yourselves, and it will help reverse the magic. It was nice meeting you."

"Wait just a damn…" But the wizard or whatever he was disappeared before their eyes with a sucking sound like the draining of a bath tub.

Rossi and Morgan were speechless, but William Reid only looked hopeful. "Now will you listen to me?" He asked.

--

Rossi, Morgan, and William Reid showed up at the hospital later that day, and after a loud argument with the women and Hotch, convinced Hotch and the girls that this was the only way to help Reid. Hotch agreed, only after sitting next to Reid's bed the entire night and waiting till he had the MRI. The doctor was baffled and didn't argue when they decided to take Reid home to Las Vegas.

The old servants of King William had remained loyal to the Queen and they put Prince Spencer in the topmost room of the tower in the King's old Castle. It was a casino now, but the King still owned a large portion of it. They took Spencer and his father to the penthouse.

Morgan laughed when the servants insisted on putting their young prince on a bed of golden and crimson silk. The dressed him up in dark blue silk pajamas, and a matching sleeping cap. He looked very young and oddly at peace.

The rest of the team including Garcia had flown out to be with him, ignoring threats from Strauss to fire them all. Hotch informed her that they needed their youngest member and would do anything to get him back from this un-natural sleep.

--

Emily, Garcia and JJ stood staring at their young friend while he slept on. After a very long time, Garcia elbowed Emily.

"Ow… What was that for," She winced and rubbed her side?

"You go first…" Garcia whispered and pointed at the sleeping prince.

"Why me…" Emily was appalled at this suggestion.

"Because you're the newest on the team," Garcia reminded her as though this were the standard rule for any disagreement.

"Yeah…" JJ agreed, earning herself a narrowed eyed stare from Emily.

"That makes zero sense." Emily stood her ground with her arms crossed over her chest. "With that kind of logic, I think Garcia should go first. You've know him the longest and you're best friends."

"That's true…" JJ agreed. Her head was moving between them like she was watching a particularly interesting tennis match.

"I thought you're on my side." Garcia complained as light from the sun filtered in and touched her face like a caress.

"I'm the unit liaison, I'm supposed to keep the peace between opposing forces."

"That's cute JJ… If you're so smart, you go first." Emily said, pushing her friend forward.

"No…" to their utter amazement JJ went pink in the cheeks.

"What's wrong with you?" Garcia asked. "You're blushing… Are you sure you don't have less then pure feelings for my sweet baby."

"No!" JJ said a bit too loudly.

Emily and Garcia looked at each other and grinned. Then they both took one of her arms and pulled her to the head of the bed.

"I think there's a lot more to that infamous date you had with Reid. You go first." Garcia ordered.

JJ knew there was no way around it so she bent over and kissed him. She thought it was a very quick kiss on the lips, but she suddenly felt someone pull her away.

"Geez JJ… You can stop now, it's been five minutes." Emily said extremely amused.

"No it wasn't…" JJ argued.

"I think someone has a crush," Garcia said. She looked like she just found the secret to the meaning of life.

"That's not true. Anyway… it didn't work. He's still sleeping."

That was true… he was still sleeping and snoring lightly. The bed was on a raised platform and the windows were covered in matching sheer fabrics. The carpet was dark blue velvet and there was a black stained wardrobe in on corner and a closet in the other. The night table next to the bed had a cut glass lamp next to it that threw golden light onto Reid's face. He looked like an angel escaped from heaven.

Garcia was frowning down at Reid, and Emily was studying him carefully as though she thought he might be faking it.

"Okay… It's your turn to try." JJ said to Emily.

"But he looks so peaceful… Are you guys sure we have to wake him up?" She asked.

"Stop whining and get it over with," Garcia gave her a little push to the elbow.

He did look very peaceful and since several days had gone by, the dark circles were gone from under his eyes. His skin was flawless and pale, and his bangs hung in a careless wave over his face. He even smiled a bit as though his dreams were pleasant.

"I can't do it… He looks so happy. Look at him." She said.

"Emily…"

"Okay!"

The kiss was very brief even though she thought his lips felt like silk against her lips. The girls were staring at her when she stood up and turned around.

"You hardly kissed him. That's not going to work." Garcia complained and JJ nodded.

"Too bad… that's as good as it get." Her hands were shaking. "It's your turn Penn…"

"I don't think I need to try. Obviously he won't wake up for you two, so I don't think I have to try."

Emily and JJ blocked her way when she tried to leave, and she quailed before the angry looks they both wore. "Ok… you don't have to get excited. I'm just saying it won't work."

They didn't say anything, but they did tap their feet. "Fine… I can handle it." She capitulated.

She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "There… Are you happy now?"

They looked at each other and Emily said. "No… it's called the kiss of true love. It involves the lips." She pointed at her own mouth.

"No… It'd be like kissing my brother." Garcia said.

"Penn…" JJ shouted, losing her temper.

"Okay…" Garcia bent down again and barely let her lips touch Reid's.

Nothing happened, so the girls threw up their hands and went to find Hotch. He didn't have any idea what to do next. Rossi listened to their tale and thought hard.

"Well… maybe we should put out a press release inviting all the single women in the country to try and wake him up."

"Dave… that's a crazy idea," Hotch said.

"I don't think so. There has to be some girl that can wake him. In the meantime, we can try to find some other way.

The team decided it couldn't hurt and JJ did the press conference. The success of the idea was overwhelming to the team. There was a huge response to the press conference, and the line to his room stretched down to the street and all the way down Las Vegas Blvd.

--

Weeks passed and none of the women in the line had success in waking Spencer. The line had got longer and the women waiting were fast losing their tempers. Eventually, there was a run on bottled water, port-a-potties, and Chap Stick. Several fights over position in the line had broken out in the last three weeks. The cops were kept very busy, and the Mayor was on the phone to Hotch several times a day, threatening to get a court order to put Reid in Bennington with his mother.

Finally… three days before the court order was to be enforced, Garcia ran into the prince's room, cutting off a very tall, heavy set blond woman who cursed at her.

"Wait your turn you bi-"

Garcia cut her off by shutting the door and turning the lock. "I found the answer." She puffed from her run down the hallway.

"How…" JJ began.

"I just put everything we know about him into my babies and they finally gave me the answer."

She'd approached the bed and put a steaming mug down on the night table. "It's coffee…" She told them.

They all gaped at her like she'd lost her mind, but she ignored them and was fanning frantically at the steam, trying to drive it toward Reid's head. JJ was the first to break her paralysis and help Garcia fan. Soon Emily was helping. Morgan was watching Reid while the women, Hotch and Rossi fanned the steam from the cup of strong coffee.

He didn't think this was going to work at all. It was too simple, but sure enough, Reid's eyes began to flutter open. He yawned, stretched and turned over. His face went crimson to see the three women grinning down at him. Then Garcia engulfed him in a hug.

"What happened? Where am I?"

"Reid… I don't think you'd believe us if we told you." JJ said.

"Try me…" he yawned and grabbed the coffee.

So they told him everything and his face went from disbelieving to utter shock. "I don't believe it. Are you saying magic is real?" He looked like Christmas had come early despite seeing his Dad who'd come into the room.

"Yeah son… It is… We've all been under a curse, including me. Can you forgive me?" He stepped aside and Reid stared at his mother who stood there looking completely healthy and well.

"Mom…" He whispered and they hugged him.

The team fell back and watched the reunion with suspiciously bright eyes. Morgan pulled Hotch aside to talk.

"Not that I'm not happy, but what do we tell the rabid crowd of women out there."

Hotch looked at JJ who didn't hear what they said, but was eyeing them with distrust at their staring at her.

"I think we let JJ handle it." Hotch said.

--

Reid sat at his desk in the BAU. He was very happy to have his family back. His mom was cured and his dad was the father he remembered before William had left.

He frowned and wondered why the rest of that Lord Quagmire's spells hadn't worn off. Maybe it was him… He wasn't a typical "prince," the kiss of love hadn't worked. He was mortified to think that his love of coffee was the only thing that woke him up. He looked at the large mug on his desk and sighed. It was time to resign himself to being forever clumsy, shy and awkward.

Then his thoughts went back to the coffee. Morgan had teased him un-mercifully for days, and Reid had said that at home coffee was the only thing that ever woke him up besides nightmares. It wasn't his fault.

"Do not despair young Prince…" A soft voice said behind him.

He spun around and saw a beautiful woman behind his chair. The rest of the bull pen was empty and it had seemed to go very silent. The woman was dressed in a long, light pink robe, and her hair was like JJ and so were here eyes. In fact, she looked a lot like his friend and secret crush.

"JJ…" He gasped, thinking it was a trick.

The light behind her was so bright… he had to squint his eyes nearly shut to look at her… She looked like a real angel and she smiled at him.

"No… I'm not JJ. I'm here to tell you to stop wishing to be different."

"But -"

"All of your so called faults and flaws make you special Prince Spencer. You must embrace it and let them make you stronger."

"I… Um, I don't know how." He said.

"Yes you do, just be yourself," She admonished him.

"But who are you," He asked.

"Someone to watch over you, as requested by your mother long ago… But," She said a bit sadly he thought, "You don't need me anymore. Be happy Spencer Reid."

She faded away before he could answer, and all the sound seemed to rush into the room again as though a wine bottle cork had popped.

"Hey Spence…"

He blinked and JJ stood there looking at him. "Oh… ah hi JJ…" His voice squeaked and he cursed his shyness. What had the angel said? Be yourself. Now that was hard!

"Um… JJ I know we said we'd be just friends, but would you like to go get something to eat." His fingers were crossed behind his back.

She smiled, and it was brighter and more beautiful then the angel's smile. "Of course… I thought you'd never ask."

_**THE END**_

_**A/n, now come on… you didn't think a kiss would wake up Spencer. The only true love affair he has is his coffee!! Thanks to all my lovely reviewers and all who added this to you alerts. Thanks again to my wonderful beta REIDFANATIC. She's the best! **_


End file.
